Green Movies

Films often act as reflections of their times. Culture influences what kinds of films are made and the opposite is true as well. The two share an interesting relationship, as films seem to have a special ability to capture the attention and imagination of the general public. In recent years, it has become increasingly that many films are featuring one message in particular. However, although it is undoubtedly important for a popular medium like movies to disseminate an important message, film-makers must nonetheless tread lightly to ensure that the message is not overlooked.

In particular, one film that ignited a veritable maelstrom regarding the issue of global climate change was Al Gore’s provocative documentary, An Inconvenient Truth. Met with critical acclaim, it also fared well at the box office, becoming the sixth highest grossing documentary film ever. However, although it certainly brought the issue of climate change to the forefront of the public consciousness, especially given Gore’s prominence, that same prominence could be seen in a negative light. Inevitably, the film would be misconstrued as having a political slant or as some way for Gore to gain public favor. Even with the film’s detractors, however, it is generally seen as a successful and seminal film on climate change.

Green messages have also cropped in many more mainstream, non-documentary films as well. In 2004, The Day After Tomorrow became one of the highest grossing films of the year. Its main premise revolved around human-caused climate change precipitating cataclysmic weather phenomena. The success of this film demonstrated that the average moviegoer was more than willing to accept climate change and the horrible repercussions of it. At the same time, however, many people might have gone to see it for the big budget special effects. But whatever the reason for seeing it, a film like that would still bring environmental issues into the public discussion.

An Inconvenient Truth and The Day After Tomorrow both take somewhat heavy-handed, perhaps even overbearing, approaches to climate change. It almost seems as if they go out of their way to hammer home the importance of those issues. Demonstrating such zeal on the issues might make them even more prone to issues of “preaching to the choir,” and make it unlikely to win over any new supporters.

For instance, the critically reviled M. Night Shyamalan film The Happening had a green message, but because it was handled so poorly, it might actually take away from the green movement. Or even James Cameron’s Avatar, despite all its success, was criticized for presenting a paper-thin plot which beat its viewers over the head with the message that nature is holy and we should respect it before we end up destroying it. It’s certainly a poignant and important message, but if it’s executed poorly like in Avatar, it may end up doing more harm than good.

To look at a film that handled environmental issues well without getting terribly overzealous about the issue, take Pixar’s Wall-E. Pixar has a habit of tackling surprisingly mature themes in its movies and Wall-E is no exception. In this film, the human race has long since abandoned planet earth, which has been covered in trash and is now devoid of life. By focusing more on the main character’s journey and development than on environmental issues, the film avoids becoming overbearing. But is nonetheless refreshing to see Pixar tackle important topics like this, especially if young children see this film and can learn about climate change issues in a more light-hearted and humorous film like Wall-E.

However, for one of the best examples of handling environmental issues in an even handed and balanced manner, we can look at the Japanese anime film, Princess Mononoke. Although not likely to be well known by Western audiences, it is among the top five grossing films in its native Japan. The film takes place in alternate history, roughly similar to Feudal Japan, but altered to include the presence of supernatural gods and spirits which inhabit the forests. However, humans and their growing industries and factories have encroached ever further into the lands of the ancient forest gods.

Where Princess Mononoke really excels is in its balanced portrayal of both sides of the issue. The humans who are responsible for destroying the lands of the gods are not portrayed as outright evil. In fact, it is the titular character who is the one who goes to extremes, as a result of her desire to protect the forest. Both sides are shown to have good points, as well as positive and humanizing traits. Neither side is portrayed as necessarily “right.” In fact, the main protagonist in fact argues that it is foolish to think one side should win. Rather, we should strive to achieve a balance between technology and industry and the environment.

If movies with environmental issues are to be taken seriously, it is with this kind of depth and sensitivity that they must be presented. At the same time, much as a balance is advocated in Princess Mononoke between the forest and the industrious humans, so too must a balance be sought in bringing topics like climate change to the general public. Films like The Day After Tomorrow may make more money, but they run the risk of undermining green movements if they do not handle the issue well. A delicate balanced is needed in motion pictures, or climate change issues might just get lost in the shuffle.

It should come as no surprise to anyone who’s read more than a few articles here on the Chez that fellow blogger Dukemich and I are big Paramore fans. We’re also both big fans of ripping off each other’s ideas for blogs. And one of the most frequent ways we do this is with countdowns. I already did a Best of Linkin Park second take, so why not go with a Paramore version now. Just as a heads up, mine’s gonna have some unusual choices, but hey, what can I say, I get a weird satisfaction out of being different. I’ll post videos and if I can, make them Dragon Ball Z ones, although I realize how much more difficult it will be find Paramore/DBZ videos that Linkin Park/DBZ ones. Anyway, let’s get right to it.

Honorable Mentions

My Heart (The Final Riot Version): I like the song My Heart well enough… until the screaming comes in, which fits so poorly it’s downright anathema to the rest of the song. It literally ruins it. However, the live version takes that out and seems to do this song how it was meant to be. I’d love to participate in this version at a concert. But the screams? No thanks.

Whoa: This is one of those songs that I’m not entirely sure why I like it so much. It’s just…. fun. It’s relatively simple, but it’s just a fun song to sing along to.

Pressure: Oh, how closely Paramore skirted the line of being emo in their early days. The video for this song is probably the prime example of that. Nonetheless, it’s a good song, but for the most part, pretty unremarkable. Good, but not great.

Miracle: Miracle is like the poor kid that always gets left behind. Among all the other very memorable songs from Riot!, it just gets lost, so much it was the only song from the album not included on The Final Riot. But it’s a nice song and I don’t think it gets as much as love as it should. But it’s still not good enough for the top 15. Okay, here we go!

15.  Emergency

All right, kicking off the countdown proper with an All We Know is Falling classic, Emergency! I like this one a fair bit more than Pressure, though neither is my favorite from that particular album. Anyway, Emergency is a solid song all around, but much like most of the honorable mentions, nothing about it sticks out too much. And that’s why it lands toward the bottom of the list.

(It’s not a DBZ video, but Fullmetal Alchemist is an incredibly amazing anime and a totally worthy substitute for DBZ)

14. All We Know

All right, and in one of the first major instances of going against the grain in my list, I have All We Know ranked above both of the much more popular and well known singles from Paramore’s first album (Case in point: On Youtube, the view count for Pressure and Emergency are both around 16 million and then All We Know is only 2.3 million). So why do I have it higher? Well, because it’s a better song. It jumps right into things, Hayley’s really on her game and the song is very personal and emotional. I feel like it very well reflects the youth of Paramore at this time as well. It’s funny watching the video as I work on this blog and seeing how young they all looked, especially Hayley.

(Couldn’t find anything good for this one)

13. Careful

Now this is one of those songs that’s a great deal of fun to sing along to. It’s catchy and I like the intro that starts off slowly easing into the song. Hayley really nails the chorus and the Farro brothers both really did their thing.

(Nothing good for this one either)

12. For a Pessimist, I’m Pretty Optimistic

I absolutely cannot think of a better way to describe myself than the title of this song. As such, I guess you could say it holds a special place in my heart. Everything about this song is very solid, but at the same time, there’s nothing that particularly stands out. It’s just vintage Paramore.

(No luck again)

11. Monster

One thing you gotta love about Paramore is their tendency to turn real life experiences and tribulations into kick ass music. And I don’t think there’s any point in pretending this song isn’t about the departure of the Farro brothers. It’s pretty rockin’ for Paramore and the chorus is pretty powerful. Good stuff.

(Well, it’s not DBZ, but how about another fantastic anime? This time it’s Death Note)

10. Hallelujah

And we break into the top ten with Hallelujah. Back when I first got into Paramore and was going through and listening to all their songs for the first time, this one was my favorite for about a half hour. Cool story, right? Anyway, this a great song to sing along to. As befits its name, it’s just a rather joyous song, one suited well to an air of celebration or accomplishment.

(No dice)

9. Ignorance

And here we have another of Paramore’s most rockin’ songs. The guitars and drums really get cranked up on this one and Hayley sings with a distinct tone in her voice that lets you know this song is really coming from the heart. Like most of their songs, this is also a fun way to sing to. And also great to quote whenever anyone brings up the concept ignorance in a conversation.

(At last, success!)

8. That’s What You Get

Ah, now if you want a song that’s fun to sing, here you go. I can be a pretty insecure guy and I felt kinda weird when I first started liking Paramore, as they weren’t really popular yet and it was all like, “oh, a girl singer? well, that’s so gay!” Surprisingly, I had the courage to ask my friends to play this on Rock Band and the rest is history. The chorus, especially the “whoa” part is just, happy, I guess. It’s fun to sing.

(And more Fullmetal Alchemist!)

7. Crushcrushcrush

One time while walking through the mall with dukemich (what, two 20 something guys can’t walk through the mall together?), we spotted a seemingly random soda machine in the middle of nowhere, with utterly nothing else surrounding it. What soda was displayed prominently on the screen? Crush. And every since then, that soda has morphed into crushcrushcrush soda for dukemich and I. Anyway, yeah, this is a great song all around, one with a bridge that really makes you feel like rocking out.

(Back to DBZ!)

6. Brick By Boring Brick

This is mostly a lyrics-driven song, but that’s fine with me, as I tend to put more weight on the lyrics than any other aspect of a song. Interestingly, though, I do very much like instrumental music. I guess I just feel that if there are lyrics, they better be good. And this song hits it out of the park in that regard. I love all the references to fairy tales and classic stories. And the reality of having to bury one’s inner child rather hits home for me. Yeah, still working on that. Oh, and the bridge is fantastic in this one.

(Two in a row!)

5. Born For This

I feel like this one is really underrated. It’s pretty much Paramore’s only song that could really be classified in the “pump up” genre, but man, can it get me fired up. Cliche though they might be, the lyrics of the chorus really are quite true. And then when the title of the song finally gets dropped toward the end, it’s just epic. Oh, Hayley, I’ll glad say anything along you. Just say the words.

(And he bowls the turkey!)

4. Misery Business

Gasp?! Misery Business at only number four? Yes, believe it. The song that catapulted Paramore into stardom and arguably their most popular and well know song (Decode being the main challenger there, though The Only Exception might actually have a case as well) is only their fourth best in my opinion. This is a rockin’ one and that guitar riff toward the end after the bridge is all kinds of awesome. Hayley really nails this one and Josh really kills it on the guitar. Fare thee well, Josh. We miss you.

(He. Could. Go. All. The. Way!)

3. Let the Flames Begin (Live)

Now, you wanna talk epic, here you go. The original Let the Flames Begin was a good, though not remarkable song. Well, Paramore took that and turned it into something absolutely incredible in their live performances. It literally doesn’t even seem like the same song. The guitars and drums are going crazy in terms of awesome, Hayley really turns things up and then we hit the addition at the end of the song, the incredible “Oh Father” outro. Hayley’s passion every time she sings that part is unreal. I’m so glad I had the pleasure of seeing it live. Truly epic.

(I did find a DBZ video with the regular Let the Flames Begin, but the live version is much better, so enjoy this video from the Paramore concert that I went to Atlantic City [I did not take this video and take no credit for it])

2. Misguided Ghosts

Yep, a song that didn’t make dukemich’s list at all, not even in the honorable mentions, comes in at number two for me. And I was very, very close to putting it at number one. But I’m sure by now you all know what will come in at number one anyway. Well, perhaps I like this song so very much because of how dearly it speaks to me. I just realized even though I said “For a pessimist, I’m pretty optimistic” is a perfect way to describe me, the term “misguided ghost” might suit me even better. I’m really just a guy trying to find his place and I’m rather misguided. You could say I have no direction. But at the same time, I feel like I have to break free, go somewhere I don’t feel safe. I have to branch out. I don’t want to feel useless. I don’t want to be a ghost. On a side note, how about a little shameless blog for my other blog that I set up, which owes its name and partly its inspiration to this wonderful song. Check it out. Note to self: Update that blog.

Judging the song itself, it’s just fantastic. Hayley’s voice is soft, almost somber. The guitar seems sorrowful and hopeful at the same time. And, as I’ve shown, the lyrics absolutely speak to me, more than any other Paramore song. So partly because I can relate to it so much and partly because I do believe it’s genuinely a fantastic song, Misguided Ghosts comes in at number two. So, since number one is a foregone conclusion at this point, let’s just get to it.

(I would’ve been floored if I actually found a DBZ/Misguided Ghosts video. Instead of that, here’s one with the incredibly gory and disturbing, but at the same fantastic, anime, Elfen Lied.)

1. Decode

I just would like to point out that I did become a fan of Paramore well before the whole Twilight craze kicked off. But to me, it doesn’t really matter when you became a fan or why. It just matters that you are. Honestly, this song is probably the single best thing to come out of any and all things Twilight. It stands head and shoulders above the books, the films and all the other songs found on the films’ soundtracks (although I will readily admit that the soundtrack to the first movie kicked ass). It is that awesome. Hayley is at her most vocally powerful throughout the song and the instruments and everything seemed to just be, harder I guess, than most of their songs. It almost seems like something more along the lines of Evanescence than Paramore. The bridge is fantastic, Hayley really sounds heartfelt, the choruses are extremely powerful and the song ends in a truly beautiful manner. Truly, this is Paramore at their finest and I would quite like to see them make another song in the same vein as this one. Or another acoustic masterpiece like Misguided Ghosts. Anyway, this concludes my list, so adios.

(And we have to finish it off with DBZ)

When Paramore broke out back in 2007 with its hit album Riot!, people started comparing Hayley Williams to Avril Lavigne. Actually, I’m not sure anybody knew Paramore was a band and thought Hayley Williams was known as Paramore.

Anyway, I hopped on the Riot! bandwagon when my friend Jeremy said he wanted to play “That’s What You Get” on Rock Band. Originally, I laughed at him. But upon playing it multiple times I had a change of heart and decided to give them a chance. Now I know every word to every song Paramore has made.

I liked Avril from the beginning but I never admitted it because I was young and embarrassed to let everyone know I liked Avril’s music. Now I realize that’s stupid and don’t really care if anybody likes my musical tastes. With the reemergence of Avril’s career, I started listening again. Even though her newest album isn’t as good as her older music, I still think she’s awesome and as long as she’s making songs I’ll be listening.

So Who’s Better?

I once put up a Facebook status that said, “Hayley Williams is better than Avril Lavigne in every way.” The comment had some likes but it had some comments that told me to take it back.

It was about a year ago when I put up that status but right after I put it up I realized that I didn’t really think that much into it. Now I caught up on my Avril and am capable of forming a legitimate opinion. I’m going to analyze a few things about the two singers that you may not think are important or relevant but I care so I hope you do too.

I will say one thing. I was wrong to a certain degree. Let’s analyze:

Who has a Better Voice?

Obviously, this should be the first question to ask when you’re comparing singers. I think the answer is simple. Hayley Williams easily has the better vocal range. As far as punk rock singers go, Hayley Williams is rivaled only by Amy Lee (The lead singer of Evanescence) when it comes to punk rock vocal talent.

WINNER: HAYLEY WILLIAMS

Who had more of an Impact on the Music Industry?

This is a simple answer as well. Avril released her first album, Let Go, in 2002 when she was 17-years-old. She burst onto the scene with the hit singles “Complicated,” “Sk8er Boi” and “I’m With You.” The album has sold more than 17 million copies.

Paramore released its first album, All We Know is Falling, in 2005 when Hayley was 16-years-old. If you’re not a fan of Paramore, you would struggle to name one song off that album. When it was first released, All We Know is Falling sold just 50,000 copies. Although All We Know is Falling benefitted from the popularity of the other albums  it still hasn’t sold 500,000 copies.

Paramore’s first album was so weak that the band was nominated for Best New Artist after the release of it’s second album, Riot!. Despite its success, Riot! didn’t top Avril’s second album, Under My Skin, that sold 10 million copies.

Once again, Avril’s third album, The Best Damn Thing, bested Paramore’s third album, Brand New Eyes. Avril’s “Girlfriend” topped the charts giving her five #1 singles in her career to Paramore’s zero.

If that hasn’t proven that Avril had more of an impact on the music industry, then let’s look at the reason I’m typing this post. People say that Hayley is like Avril. She’s a comparable figure because of her fame especially in that era. It’s like when people compare incredible basketball players to Michael Jordan because he’s the greatest basketball player of all time. The same rules apply with Avril. She is one of the most successful punk rock artists of all time.

WINNER: AVRIL LAVIGNE

Who’s Hotter?

All right so this question has nothing to do with their talent but it’s a question on which most people would like to form an opinion. Despite Avril’s vampire teeth, she is still hotter than Hayley. Don’t get me wrong, I think both women are very attractive but I can’t go against Avril on this one.

I don’t think I’m the only one who feels this way. Avril is #34 on the 2011 Maxim Hot 100 list. Hayley is nowhere to be found.

WINNER: AVRIL LAVIGNE

Who has a Better Band?

People who know me know who I’m going to pick but I still have to say it. Paramore has better lyrics and a better sound. I would go to a Paramore concert before an Avril concert. I would put Riot! up against any of Avril’s albums. I would put “Decode” up against any of Avril’s songs. Paramore is better.

WINNER: HAYLEY WILLIAMS

So…Who’s Better?

Hayley is my favorite. Her vocal talent and superior lyrics put her over the top for me. Despite my thoughts, Avril Lavigne is awesome and has already accomplished more than Hayley Williams and/or Paramore ever could. Avril also paved the way for bands like Paramore.

I also don’t think either artist separates herself from the other enough to have a clear answer to this question. I would pick Hayley but its a matter of preference. I could see how someone could like Avril more and I wouldn’t question it.

The truth is both singers are incredibly talented. Both not only sing but also play more than one instrument. They began their careers at the ages of 16 and 17. At that age I didn’t even know what I wanted my major to be when I got to college.

• Cam Newton threw for more than 400 yards in his NFL debut in a loss.

• Tom Brady threw for 517 yards (Not that Brady sucks but 517 yards is almost record-breaking).

• The Buffalo Bills defeated the Kansas City Chiefs 41-7.

• Ryan Ftizpatrick threw for four touchdowns.

• Rex Grossman looked great against the Giants.

• The Ravens forced seven turnovers against the defending AFC champions.

• The Bears put up 30 points on the Falcons who some people thought would win the Super Bowl this year.

Despite the rarities, there were also some things that weren’t surprising:

• The Browns lost.
• The Colts can’t win without Peyton Manning.
• The Packers and Saints both have high-powered offenses.
• Every time Tony Romo drops back to pass he looks like a deer in the headlights.
• The Jets always find a way to win.
• The Broncos always find a way to lose.

I think that sums up Week 1. Let’s move on to Week 2:

Seahawks vs. Steelers

The Steelers really need a win in this game after last week’s embarrassment so they’re pretty lucky they’re playing the lowly Seahawks.

Raiders vs. Bills

I don’t believe the Bills’ beat down of the Chiefs is a sign of things to come so the Raiders will move to 2-0 (GASP).

Cardinals vs. Redskins

Shockingly enough there are two teams worse than these two teams but I have to go with the Redskins in this game because the Cardinals barely slipped by the lowly Panthers while the Redskins manhandled the Giants. Sexy Rexy!!

Buccaneers vs. Vikings

I think a Viking would defeat a Buccaneer so there you have it.

Jaguars vs. Jets

J-E-T-S Jets! Jets! Jets! I don’t think an explanation is required.

Bears vs. Saints

I’m going to sound like an idiot when I say this but I never thought the Bears were that good yet they continue to win games. This is a team that made it to the NFC Championship last season. I still don’t understand why so I’m going with the Saints.

Packers vs. Panthers

The defending Super Bowl champions vs. the worst team in the league last season. I’ll go with the defending Super Bowl champs.

Ravens vs. Titans

The Ravens came out firing in Week 1 against the defending AFC champions. Barring a letdown, the Ravens should have no problem with the Titans.

Chiefs vs. Lions

I can’t go with the Chiefs after an embarrassing loss to the Bills. The Lions have a good shot at remaining undefeated (GASP).

Browns vs. Colts

I’m fighting through the Madden curse to pick the hapless Browns. Why? I have no idea.

Cowboys vs. 49ers

The Cowboys have to win this game, right? The 49ers aren’t good so please, Tony Romo, help out my fantasy team this week!

Bengals vs. Broncos

I don’t understand how the Bengals won last week. Oh right, they played the Browns. They won’t go to 2-0. It just doesn’t seem possible no matter who they’re playing.

Chargers vs. Patriots

This should be a good game but at home I give the Patriots the edge. Also, the Chargers didn’t impress me last week when they sneaked by the Vikings.

Texans vs. Dolphins

The Texans have a chance to run away with the AFC South division. In order to do that they can’t lose games that they should win. I think their Week 1 performance showed that this team means business but they’re also known to be streaky.

Eagles vs. Falcons

Michael Vick will come up big back in Atlanta and drop the Falcons to a disappointing 0-2 start.

Rams vs. Giants

The Giants looked pathetic in Week 1. Look for an upset on Monday night.

All right, that’s it for this week. Sorry I don’t really have much to say about some of the games. Nothing really excited me about this week.

See ya.

Filed under: Sports Tagged: 2011-12 season, brett favre, michael vick, nfl, peyton manning, week 2, week 2 picks, week 2 predictions ]]> http://chezwick.wordpress.com/2011/09/15/week-2-nfl-picks-2/feed/ 1 dukemich http://chezwick.wordpress.com/2011/09/08/week-1-picks/ http://chezwick.wordpress.com/2011/09/08/week-1-picks/#comments Thu, 08 Sep 2011 23:53:04 +0000 dukemich http://chezwick.wordpress.com/?p=4163 ]]>

After experiencing a scare because of the lockout, the NFL is back! As you can see by the picture above the Packers were last year’s Super Bowl champions in case you forgot and yes I am a Packer fan.

However, this is a new season and the biggest off-season story was the free agent signings of the Philadelphia Eagles. I’ll admit they look great on paper but we’ll see once the season starts. They could’ve won it all last season. For a time the Eagles were thought to be the best team in the NFC. They lost to the eventual Super Bowl champions in the first round of the playoffs but they were one pass away from sneaking past the Packers. Who knows what could have happened after that?

Anyway, they stocked but their defense from last season and are ready to make a run for the Super Bowl. I don’t think the “Dream Team” will do it but I will make no more bets. Last season I said if the Chargers didn’t make the playoffs I would get my cholesterol checked. The Chargers didn’t make the playoffs and I got my cholesterol checked. Granted, it was like seven months later much to the dismay of my friends but I finally came through on the bet. It turned out my cholesterol is fine but I have high blood pressure. I got it checked while I was working at Gerrity’s so of course I had high blood pressure. So that is why this time I’ll keep my mouth shut because I don’t win bets no matter how sure they are.

Anyway, it’s Week 1!!! Football is back!!! Let’s get to the picks!

Thursday

Saints vs. Packers

I’m obviously going to pick the Packers in this game. Green Bay is my favorite team and being that the Packers are the defending Super Bowl champions there’s no reason to pick against them in the first game.

Sunday 1 p.m.

Falcons vs. Chicago

If this game were played later in the season when the weather becomes a factor I may go with the Bears but the Falcons were embarrassed in last year’s playoff game against the Packers so they will be looking to make a statement. Make no mistake about it though, Soldier Field is a difficult place to play and don’t be surprised to see Chicago come out on top.

Colts vs. Texans

With Peyton Manning now getting neck surgery, the Colts could have a long season. Indianapolis is nothing without Manning. Last year, the Texans spanked the Colts in the first game of the season. I don’t see how the Colts will stop them from doing it again.

Bills vs. Chiefs

The Chiefs will win because the Bills are awful and have been hapless (John Lund) for years.

Titans vs. Jaguars

I’ll pick the Titans because I think a titan would beat a jaguar in real life. Even though titans aren’t real. Anyway, this is an interesting match-up but it’s not because both teams are good. It’s because both teams have new quarterbacks. I think the game will come down to which star running back is better on that day. I choose Chris Johnson.

Bengals vs. Browns

I’m hoping the Madden curse doesn’t get to Peyton Hillis this season because the Browns have some potential to at least be relevant in the future with a young running back and quarterback. But we’ll see because after all they are the Browns.

Eagles vs. Rams

E-A-G-L-E-S EAGLES!!! Show me what you got, Dream Team.

Steelers vs. Ravens

I think the Steelers have been waiting for this game since they lost the Super Bowl. They’re not used to losing when they make it there. Look for the Steelers to establish their division dominance early.

Lions vs. Bucs

I’ve heard people say the Lions could be a playoff team this season…We are talking about the Lions, right? Barry Sanders retired a long time ago if I remember correctly. The Bucs will prove the Lions are not a playoff team.

Sunday 4:15ish p.m.

Vikings vs. Chargers

All right, Chargers. It is completely your fault I had to get my cholesterol checked last season. You are better than the Vikings so beat them! I think the Vikings will realize again this season how short-term of a solution Brett Favre was for the team.

Giants vs. Redskins

Who’s the Redskins’ quarterback? I honestly had to look it up. It’s Rex Grossman. Remember him? He was in the Super Bowl once. Giants win because I knew who their quarterback was.

Panthers vs. Cardinals

Kevin Kolb will start a regime in Arizona. All the people who said Kolb was the savior for the Eagles, did you realize how much better the Eagles got when he stopped playing? Anyway, he’ll get a fresh start and should get a win against a pretty terrible team.

Seahawks vs. 49ers

Without Matt Hasselbeck, I don’t see how the Seahawks will make the playoffs this season. It will take a lot of determination from Marshawn Lynch. I expect the Seahawks to fall of the face of the earth this year. Darren Sharper, hold my dick!!!

If you don’t know what I’m talking about with Lynch and Darren Sharper hold my dick, here you go. It’s always a good watch.

Sunday Night Game

Cowboys vs. Jets

I’m not going to be a non-believer. It’s difficult to pick against a team that has made it to the AFC championship game the past two years. The Cowboys haven’t won a playoff game in years. I think since 1997.

Monday Night Games

Patriots vs. Dolphins

The Patriots because they’re better.

Raiders vs. Broncos

I’ll go with the Raiders because the fans wanted Tim Tebow to start but have failed to realize that Kyle Orton is easily the better quarterback. It might be a high pressure situation for Orton at home.

All right, that’s it for this week. Enjoy Week 1!

See ya.

Filed under: Sports Tagged: 2011-12 season, aaron rodgers, eagles, nfl, packers, peyton manning, saints, week 1, week schedule ]]> http://chezwick.wordpress.com/2011/09/08/week-1-picks/feed/ 0 dukemich World Champion Green Bay Packers http://chezwick.wordpress.com/2011/06/06/first-class-gets-decent-grade/ http://chezwick.wordpress.com/2011/06/06/first-class-gets-decent-grade/#comments Mon, 06 Jun 2011 20:31:14 +0000 ssjrem http://thechez.net/?p=4127 ]]> It’s been only two years since the last X-Men film and now the latest entry brings us up to five total in the franchise that effectively jump started the superhero movie craze that dominated the list of blockbusters during the last decade. However, the mutants have fallen from grace a bit, it seems.

X-Men: First Class

First Class was the only new wide release this weekend and is still based on a popular brand, although it is without the series’s most popular character in Wolverine. However, it was Wolverine himself who seems to have to perhaps irreparably damaged the entire franchise. After the debacle that was X-Men Origins: Wolverine, the only thing to do really was to try to effectively start the whole franchise over. To see just how much damage Wolverine did the franchise, the opening weekend of First Class barely managed to beat the first weekend of the original X-Men movie, which came out eleven years ago. Over a decade of ticket price inflation and First Class could barely eke out a victory.

Anyway, First Class pulled in 56 million. That is a full 30 million below Wolverine and just two million above the debut of the first film. It’s not a terrible result, but I’m sure Fox was hoping for something better. Even so, they were probably hoping for this to pull a Batman Begins, that is take the franchise back to its roots and restore the public’s faith. The only problem with that is First Class isn’t even close to as good of a movie as Batman Begins. Color me disappointed with regard to First Class; hopefully I can get a full review up soon. But despite my own feelings, the public might respond well to it. I won’t know until the drop next weekend. But, no matter what, I’m sure it will have better legs than Wolverine and might have a slim chance of surpassing that film’s total of 179 million. I sure hope so, at least.

Pulling in 32.5 million this weekend, The Hangover Part II plummeted 62%. All things considered, that drop actually isn’t that bad really. However, worthy noting is that despite the sequel pulling in 40 million more over its opening weekend, the original Hangover actually did gross slightly more in its second weekend. Even still, Part II is up to 187 million in total now while the first one had only 105 million at the same point. Part II will probably stabilize a bit next weekend, but I still don’t think surpassing the total of the first one is a given.

And the bad news continues for Kung Fu Panda 2. Its inexplicable failure keeps going this weekend, as it drops a higher than expected 49% to 24.3 million, lifting its total to just over 100 million. This is probably going to end up somewhere in the 150 million range, a far cry from the 215 million of the first one.

Falling 55% to 18 million, we have On Stranger Tides. At 190 million now, the latest POTC movie is probably going to finish with only 240 million or so. Quite a franchise when you can describe 240 million as “only” but it’s definitely a huge fall from the usual heights of this franchise. I honestly hope Disney doesn’t make a fifth installment.

In a weekend when eight of the top ten movies fell by 49% or more, the legs of Bridesmaids stand out quite nicely. In massive contrast to the hard falls of every other movie (aside from a movie that well than doubled its theatre count), “the female Hangover” fell just 27% down to 12.1 million. With a total of 107 million now, this is clearly one of the biggest crowd pleasers of 2011.

The God of Thunder is apparently on his last legs now, as he fell 55% to 4.2 million. With a total now of 169 million, Thor has put up some very solid numbers. Given the care that Marvel seems to be giving their films lately, it makes me even more optimistic about the upcoming Avengers movie.

Still the highest grossing film of the year, though soon to be surpassed (twice), Fast Five brought in 3.2 million this weekend. With a grand total of 202 million, it’s the first 2011 flick to surpass 200 million, though both POTC and The Hangover will be there by the end of next weekend. This almost ensures that we will, in fact, see a sixth movie in this franchise. But as long as The Rock returns and he’s constantly sweating bullets along with an astoundingly hammed up performance, I’ll be on board.

Jumping up 51% to 2.9 million, we have Woody Allen’s latest flick, Midnight in Paris. Playing in just 147 theatres, its per theatre average was actually higher than that of First Class. I imagine this will probably continue a gradual roll out into more theatres and should do decently.

And, the two romantic comedies that have been joined at the hip for five straight weeks now have now experienced what will hopefully be their final weekends in the top ten. Jumping the Broom made 865,000 to lift its total to 35.9 million, while Something Borrowed made 835,000 to buoy its gross up to 36.6 million. And I could not possibly care less.

So, there you have it. Despite glowing reviews and the weekend all to itself, First Class disappointed. But whether or not it can be deemed a failure will be determined by its legs in the following weeks. Looking at what’s coming out next weekend, if First Class holds well enough, it’s not unthinkable that it could repeat on top.

Judy Moody and the NOT Bummer Summer: Don’t really care about this film at all. What did I predict in my summer movie preview? Eh, you know what, I’m too lazy to check. I’ll say twelve million.

Super 8: This is such a difficult one to predict. As I’ve said, I love what Abrams is doing with this and it really does look like he’s going to evoke that classic 80s movie feel. I think it will fall a bit short of Abrams’s Cloverfield, but it will still eke out a win over First Class nonetheless. I’ll say 32 million. Until we meet again.

12. Emma Watson, Age: 21

Emma Watson has cracked the crush list this time around but what has she done with her hair? I’m hoping that it’s not permanent and she just lets it grow back. Putting that aside, Watson is gorgeous and has a British accent. We were also born about a month apart so we’re both 21. It will be interesting to see what she’s going to do when the Harry Potter franchise ends. I’ve heard that she’s happy it’s over. Oh yeah, Emma, what a rough patch you went through making all that money.

11. Gemma Arterton, Age: 25

Gemma Arterton is new to the crush list. She’s been in a few movies over the past few years including Clash of the Titans, Quantum of Solace (James Bond), and Prince of Persia. There’s one thing that stays consistent with her in all of her films, she’s hot. It’s as simple as that. She has this unexplainable, angelic beauty to her that can only be explained by watching her movies.

10. Alexandra Daddario, Age: 25

For some reason, I really wanted to see Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lightning Thief. I don’t understand why you would make a title to a  movie that long but anyway a few months ago I finally saw it. I enjoyed it and thought Alexandra Daddario was absolutely gorgeous in it. It’s something about her face and eyes. It was interesting to find out that she was 25. I didn’t realize she was that old. Then again Robert Pattinson is still playing a 17-year-old and Tobey Maguire was still playing Spider-Man when he was 32.

9. Olivia Wilde, Age: 27

Olivia Wilde topped the Maxim Hot 100 list back in 2009 and deservedly so. She’s hot and she first earned attention when she landed the role of “13″ in the fourth season of “House.” I stopped watching “House” after the fourth season because it was clear that the show had started to decline. I did love the first three seasons. Anyway, my crush on Wilde did not die with the show. Also, she’s in pretty much every movie that’s coming out so we’ll be seeing a lot of her.

8. Emma Stone, Age: 22

Emma Stone has been a rising star but at this point I think she has reached total stardom. The first movie I remember her from is Zombieland. I know she was in Superbad but I barely remember that movie because I’m one of the few people who didn’t think it was that funny (gasp). Anyway, when I saw her in Zombieland I thought damn this girl is hot. She also plays the leading role in Easy A, which is a solid flick. She’s set to star in the reboot of the new Spider-Man movie if it ever happens.

7. Amber Heard, Age: 25

Amber Heard made Drive Angry worth watching because she is drop-dead gorgeous. She also starred alongside Emma Stone in Zombieland, but didn’t last very long. Heard also played Seth Rogan’s girlfriend in Pineapple Express. Her job in movies is to look hot and she does. Unfortunately for us guys, she is in fact a lesbian. Oh well.

6. Scarlett Johansson, Age: 26

I think Scarlett Johansson should be on every guy’s crush list. Therefore, I don’t think I have to talk about her.

5. Kristen Bell, Age: 30

Kristen Bell is the oldest crush on the list at age 30. She’ll be 31 in July. Despite her age, Bell still looks like she’s in her 20s. Over the past three years, Bell has wasted her talent by starring in terrible movies. She hasn’t been in a good movie since Forgetting Sarah Marshall. I hope she makes some better choices in her upcoming movies before she fades into oblivion. Bell dropped from three to five in the top 10 but when I see she’s in a movie it still intrigues me.

4. Emily Browning, Age: 22

This is a new crush and an odd crush. Emily Browning starred in Sucker Punch, which flopped at the box office. I really liked it but I guess it didn’t hit home with most of the nation. Browning plays Baby Doll in Sucker Punch. In the movie, she’s absolutely adorable and hot at the same time. I loved her. However, she doesn’t have that blonde hair in real life. She also now has short hair. She just has a completely different look. So maybe I don’t have a crush on Browning. I might just have a crush on the fictional character that she plays. She still deserves a spot on the crush list because I know what she’s capable of looking like.

3. Avril Lavigne, Age: 26

Avril Lavigne is ever-ry-thing, ever-ry-thing that I wanted. I just want to sit and stare at you, Avril, because I’m in love with you. You make me so hot. You make me want to drop. You’re so ridiculous. I can barely stop. Hey, hey! You, you! I can be your boyfriend. I know that all my life I’ve been single but now I’m thinking what the hell? You wouldn’t be some chick I placed beside me to take somebody’s place.

I think we should get together now. And that’s what everyone’s talking ’bout. I’m not a sk8er boi so you won’t have to say see you later boy. He never made you feel like you were special, like you were special, ’cause you were special. I’m with you. So knock me off my feet. Take me away.

If you see this and think it’s weird, I’m sorry about that but sometimes I get so weird. I even freak myself out. I just don’t want to wish my life away with these things I’ll never say. I know I’m not the milk and cheerios in your spoon but is it too much to ask for your phone number? Who knows what could happen?

Whatever happens, I’m gonna live my life. I can’t ever run and hide. I won’t compromise ’cause I’ll never know. I’ve never felt like this before. I’m naked around you. Does it show? How does it feel?

You’re the best damn thing my eyes have ever seen.

Anyway, that’s the end of that. I love Avril Lavigne. She’s gorgeous and I love a lot of her music. I also like her personality. She’s very real.

Don’t try to tell me that she’s 30 years old and she should stop singing. Granted, her music kind of sucks now but she’s 26. She’s still young. But I suppose you can’t stop people from saying what they want to say. Life’s like this. Uh huh, uh huh, that’s the way it is.

2. Hayley Williams, Age: 22

Well, there’s no change here. Hayley Williams is still number two. The question becomes, should I do the same thing with Hayley that I did with Avril? All right, I hope you enjoyed it the first time because here it comes again.

I have a crush…crush…crush…crush, crush on you. You are the only exception. You’ve got a body like an hourglass, it’s ticking like a clock. All I wanted was you. We’ve got nothing but time on our hands so you should meet me. Otherwise, ignorance is your new best friend. We could build our relationship brick by boring brick.

I know your band just had a break-up probably because you used to date the guitarist but that’s what you get when you let your heart win. So take these chances to turn it around. Just take these chances. We’ll make it somehow.

I’m not going, ’cause I’ve been waiting for a miracle. Tower over me. We were born for this. My heart, it beats, beats for only you. My heart is yours. I don’t mean to make you feel the pressure but if you thought I’d leave then you were wrong, ’cause I won’t stop holding on.

All right before things get out of control, Hayley Williams is my favorite female artist of all time and she is the lead singer of one of my favorite bands of all time. Yes, I have a crush on her.

1. Kristen Stewart, Age: 21

All of you that know me knew this was coming so I’m sorry that this was anti-climatic. I don’t know why I like her. She’s a terrible actress but I guess I just can’t get enough of her awkward sequences in Twilight. In my first crush list I wrote a novel about the reasons I liked her but the truth is I really don’t know. She’s hot but she’s a little weird. For some reason that intrigues me. She was born a month apart from me so that’s a plus. Other than that I don’t know but after a year and a half she retains the top spot.

I hope you enjoyed.

On a side note there have been a lot of comparisons between Hayley Williams and Avril Lavigne so there could be a Hayley Williams vs. Avril Lavigne blog in the near future.

See ya.

Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides

The fourth entry of the POTC series opened to 90 million this weekend. You know it’s a testament to the absurd strength of your franchise when a massive debut of 90 million is disappointing of all things. It’s strange, though, ten years ago, 90 million was an absurdly high amount at the box office, while now we’ve reached a point where it can actually be disappointing, especially for a franchise that has reached the heights of this one. But, hey, with At World’s End being so shitty and taking out 2/3 of the main characters–well, what did you expect? Bear in mind, also, that this 90 million is buoyed somewhat by 3-D.

On Stranger Tides has a terrible 34% at Rotten Tomatoes and I just don’t feel like there’s all that much good will left toward this series. However, it was a smart movie by Disney to release it the weekend before Memorial Day, so what might have been a 65 to 70% second weekend drop might end up somewhere in the 50s instead. Even still, this will probably end up as the lowest grossing POTC movie. It’s hard to say until I see how next weekend pans out, but I’m thinking maybe somewhere in the 275 million range. Still definitely nothing to shake a stick at, but a minor fall from grace to be sure.

Our runner up for the second straight weekend is Bridesmaids, a rare female-oriented comedy. But, hey, it seems like they might really be on to something here, as after a solid debuted, the “female Hangover” fell just 20% to 21.1 million. So, clearly, this has some very good word of mouth going for it. With 59 million in the bank and a holiday weekend coming up, Bridesmaids should definitely finds it was over 100 million. Color me impressed.

Plummeting 55% is the God of Thunder, the might Thor. I thought Thor was a really solid flick. Nothing great. Nothing terrible. Just sheer entertainment. And definitely a breakout role for Chris Hemsworth, who I thought did very, very well. I initially found the drop this weekend a little steep, but Thor and POTC do have a lot of audience overlap. Anyway, the mighty Asgardian God pulled in 15.5 million for a grand total now of 145 million. Very solid. Should finish somewhere around 180 to 190 million, maybe cracking 200 if it’s lucky. Not too shabby. It certainly beats the hell out of both Hulk movies, that’s for sure.

The highest grossing movie of the year (but not for long), Fast Five fell 48% for a total 10.6 million this weekend. That lifts the total sum up to 186 million. In reply to that, I just have to say “Huh?” I still don’t understand why these movies do so well. But I won’t fight it. Hell, I saw this and enjoyed it myself, so I’ll throw up my arms in defeat with the rest of the population. Fast Five will probably finish somewhere around 205 million. I can’t help but wonder what they’ll call the sixth one.

Down 44% to 4.7 million is Rio, now up to 132 million, pretty solid numbers for a flick that seems like Ice Age but merely transposed to a tropical climate. Many of these children’s movies seem so very interchangeable to me these days. Pixar remains the measuring rod by which all these cheap knock offs are judged. Admittedly, I can’t say I’m terribly excited for Cars 2, so I’ll say this again. Where the hell is the sequel to one Pixar movie that outright demands a continuation, The Incredibles?

Down 70% to 4.6 is Priest, a film I can only rejoice that I have not been forced to see by one my friends. With a weak total of 24 million, this one will soon enough be forgotten.

In seventh and eighth, we have dueling romantic comedies, Jumping the Broom and Something Borrowed. If you actually care about either of these movies, I first have to ask, why? And secondly, if you really wanna know how they did, just Google it or something.

I do wonder if Robert Pattinson will ever manage to be in a breakout film. Water for Elephants  seemed like it had potential, but it ended up sucking. Still, its 52 million total so far isn’t terrible actually. It sure beats Remember Me.

And rounding out the top ten, we have another Tyler Perry movie with an obnoxiously long title. 51.8 million total and that’s all I really care to say about a Tyler Perry flick.

All right, so that’s it. My sarcastic, cynical but honestly not all that witty box office wrap ups have returned. Next weekend should be a huge one, with POTC:OST’s second weekend, as well as two big sequels opening up. Oh, and it’s on Memorial Day Weekend. Let’s take a look at what’s coming our way.

Kung Fu Panda 2: I do like Jack Black. I think he can be funny, but he just picks bad projects. But I don’t blame him really for doing all these kiddy movies. He does have a large young fan base and kid’s movies tend to do pretty well. Still, I doubt anyone was clamoring for a sequel to the first one. But I’m still expecting a pretty gigantic opening. Hmmm, let’s say around 75 million.

The Hangover Part 2: As I voiced in my summer movie preview that maybe one person read, Cracked.com brilliantly pointed out that this is literally going to be the exact same movie as the first one. But, you know what, I’ll see it anyway. And I’ll probably laugh a lot too. At least, I hope. Being R-rated, the opening here is limited, but if The Matrix Reloaded and The Passion of the Christ showed us anything, it’s that R-rated movies can in fact open huge. It’s just difficult. I’m thinking this will probably open somewhere around 65 to 70 million. I wouldn’t be surprised to see it go a lot higher, though. So, I guess that’s all, folks. It feels good to be back.

May 20

Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides

My Thoughts: All right, time to be honest. I actually have very little interest in seeing this movie. In my eyes, the POTC flicks got progressively worse and At World’s End was just plain bad. And now you take out two of the three main characters? Yes, Jack Sparrow was always the best and Johnny Depp is the main appeal, but I just don’t think that’s enough. But I’ll give this flick a chance anyway.

My Predictions: Hmmm, hard to say. I do think AWE did some serious damage to the franchise and the departure of 2/3 of the main characters can’t help. 3-D will off set those a tad, but I think still might be the lowest grossing POTC flick. However, it was a smart move to put the weekend before Memorial Day, which will help ease its sure to massive anyway second weekend drop.

Opening Weekend: 102 million

Total Gross: 305 million

Likelihood of Seeing It: 75%

May 27

The Hangover Part II

My Thoughts: I suppose a sequel was inevitable. As Cracked.com pointed out, this literally looks like the same exact movie as the first, practically shot for shot. But it will probably still be at least kind of funny. And I’ll definitely go see it anyway. It’s difficult to capture lightning in a bottle twice and I don’t know if it can happen again.

My Prediction: The original The Hangover opened moderately and had great legs. I expect the exact opposite from this one. Huge opening followed by poor legs. Plus, it will be Memorial Day weekend. And it’s launching on a Thursday, effectively giving itself a five day opening weekend. And those five days are sure to be huge.

Opening Weekend: 65 million three day (92 million five day)

Total Gross: 235 million

Likelihood of Seeing It: 95%

Kung Fu Panda 2

My Thoughts: The first Kung Fu Panda did good, although not spectacular numbers. I doubt there was much clamor for a sequel, but here it is. Naturally, it’s in 3-D. Like The Hangover Part II, it’s launching on Thursday, so it’s sure to do huge business over this weekend. With these two movies and POTC: OST in its second weekend, this could be one of the biggest weekends ever.

My Predictions: I don’t think this will open too much larger than its predecessor, especially with Thursday soaking up some its business. But it should be a solid debut nonetheless. I don’t think we’ll see good legs, though. 

Opening Weekend: 70 million (97 million five day)

Total Gross: 245 million

Likelihood of Seeing It: 5%

June 3

X-Men: First Class

My Thoughts: The last two X-men movies have fooled me with great trailers, only for the final products to completely fail at measuring up. They were entertaining, sure, but far from good movies. And, once again, we have an X-men movie with a fantastic trailer. I honestly think the trailer for this is by far the best of any one movie coming out this summer. And the whole prospect of exploring the origins between Professor X and Magneto is brilliant. I’m almost positive the final product will end up disappointing, though.

My Predictions: Well, I’m going to go on a probably ill-advised limb here and will operate under the assumption that this is actually going to be a good movie. Foolish, I know, but I can’t help that. That said, I think people have been slightly turned away by the last two X-men movies and as such the opening won’t be too big. Still, it does have the weekend all to itself and is far enough removed from Thor that comic books fans will be looking for their next fix.

Opening Weekend: 70 million

Total Gross: 250 million

Likelihood of Seeing It: 100%

June 10

Judy Moody and the NOT Bummer Summer

My Thoughts/Predictions: Seems like pretty standard fare for a flick based on a children’s book. It is unlikely to attract a big audience, but then again, the Diary of a Wimpy Kid films didn’t do too badly. This one, however, does seem like it might appeal to girls slightly more. I’ll just toss some numbers out there.

Opening Weekend: 13 million

Total Gross: 38 million

Likelihood of Seeing It: 0%

Super 8

My Thoughts: First thing’s first. I love J.J Abrams. And furthermore, I absolutely loved the trailer to this movie. Abrams, collaborating with Spielberg, are clearly trying to evoke the feel of classic 80s movies and I love the way it looks so far. It seems just like something Spielberg would’ve put out in the 80s, complete with the Goonies-like main cast. And it’s still quite unclear what exactly was in that train to start with. Color me very intrigued.

My Predictions: It’s difficult to say. It’s somewhat tempting to compare this to Abram’s other film based on original material, Cloverfield, but they do seem to be fairly different. I can’t help but get the feeling that the general public is going to be somewhat skeptical about this one. But if it delivers, it might have some decent legs.

Opening Weekend: 27 million

Total Gross: 85 million

Likelihood of Seeing It: 80%

June 17

Green Lantern

My Thoughts: You know, as much as I do love Ryan Reynolds and as much as I love superheroes, I just can’t help but think to myself, this just does not look like a good movie. I think the whole of the Green Lantern is cool, especially how there are hundreds of them, but this particular interpretation has me anything but excited. I’ll definitely wait for the reviews to come in.

My Predictions: I imagine Green Lantern, being a somewhat lesser known and less popular superhero, will probably open somewhere in the Daredevil to Thor level. It could be worse, though, if the reviews are bad.

Opening Weekend: 40 million

Total Gross: 102 million

Likelihood of Seeing It: 60%

Mr. Popper’s Penguins

My Thoughts/Predictions: Wow, Jim Carrey is getting old. This movie is basically just about Jim Carrey… living with a bunch of penguins? Maybe with a slight environmentalist message thrown in there. Carrey, like Adam Sandler, can easily get people to turn out for utter shit, so I still think this should do at least decently. 

Opening Weekend: 26 million

Total Gross: 68 million

Likelihood of Seeing It: 10%

June 24

Bad Teacher

My Thoughts/Predictions: Well, upon watching the trailer to find out what the hell this movie is, I see it’s some stupid thing about Cameron Diaz playing a lazy, awful teacher. The only funny parts of the trailer involved Jason Segel, but I doubt that he can single handedly save this otherwise unremarkable looking flick.

Opening Weekend: 17 million

Total Gross: 49 million

Likelihood of Seeing It: 15%

Cars 2

My Thoughts: You know, of all the Pixar movies to make a sequel to, I’m rather surprised that they went with Cars first. I suppose it does lend itself to a sequel better than some of the others, but why a sequel to this before The Incredibles, the only Pixar movie that really, really seems wide open to a sequel? I’ll probably pass on Cars 2 as I wait for another installment to The Incredibles. 

My Predictions: The first film opened to 60 million about five years ago (wow, really? Five years? God, I’m getting old.) and this one should improve on that. I think we’ve reached a point of sufficient public fatigue with 3-D that it probably hardly even helps movies anymore. Still, I think Cars 2 should surpass the opening of its predecessor.

Opening Weekend: 72 million

Total Gross: 265 million

Likelihood of Seeing It: 35%

July 1

Larry Crowne

My Thoughts/Predictions: A modern day slice-of-life movie starring Tom Hanks and Julia Roberts. It doesn’t really interest me. These two don’t really have much pull by themselves these days, but I’m also not sure if the fact that isn’t exactly a straight romantic comedy will help it or hurt. It’s more targeted to older audiences, so reviews will be a factor.

Opening Weekend: 15 million

Total Gross: 52 million

Likelihood of Seeing It: 5%

Monte Carlo

My Thoughts/Predictions: This is literally the same exact film as The Lizzie McGuire Movie, but with Selena Gomez instead of Hilary Duff. So, I shall base its numbers entirely off the movie it is shamelessly ripping off.

Opening Weekend: 17 million

Total Gross: 43 million

Likelihood of Seeing It: 0%

Transformers: The Dark Side of the Moon

My Thoughts: The Autobots and Decepticons descend on to the Fourth of July weekend once again. The trailer seems to promise that the action, explosions and robots fighting will be amped up even higher than the first two movies, which is a thought outrageous enough to almost make my head explode. It might well come close to being the worst movie ever made, but I don’t care because there’s simply no way it won’t be entertaining as all hell.

My Predictions: This is the first time a Transformers flick is opening on a Friday, so its three day gross will undoubtedly be massive. Even though it opened on a Wednesday, Revenge of the Fallen still managed to pull in 108 million over the weekend proper. We might be looking at a record breaking opening here… followed by abysmal stamina.

Opening Weekend: 135 million

Total Gross: 340 million

Likelihood of Seeing It: 95%

July 8

Horrible Bosses

My Thoughts/Predictions: “Three friends (Jason Bateman, Charlie Day and Jason Sudeikis) conspire to murder their awful bosses (Jennifer Aniston, Colin Farrell, and Kevin Spacey) when they realize they are standing in the way of their happiness.” Thanks, Wikipedia. Well, seems like a ridiculous premise. However, Isaiah “Old Spice Guy” is in the movie. Enough said. Anyway, it’s actually a pretty star-studded cast, so it should do well enough.

Opening Weekend: 21 million

Total Gross: 60 million

Likelihood of Seeing It: 25%

Zookeepers

My Thoughts: *Facepalm* Sigh… this is basically Night at the Museum but at a zoo and with Kevin James instead of Ben Stiller. If that’s even possible, I think this actually looks like it could be worse. Well, considering NatM is in contention for worst movie I’ve ever seen, that might be going a bit too far. Eh, actually, maybe not.

My Predictions: People are stupid. I say that all the time whenever I discuss movies. Both NatM flicks managed to make absolutely mind-boggling amounts of money, especially the first one. I honestly wish I asked for my money back after seeing the first one. I can’t remember seeing another movie over the past five or six years that was so utterly irredeemable. Bah, I digress. In short, people are stupid. They’ll go see this.

Opening Weekend: 35 million

Total Gross: 110 million

Likelihood of Seeing It: 0%

July 15

Winnie the Pooh

My Thoughts/Predictions: For reasons mostly unknown to me, I’ve always disliked Winnie the Pooh. I can’t really explain it. It just annoyed me. What I do like about this movie, however, is that it’s not live action or even CGI. It’s completely maintaining the look and spirit of the original series. Traditionally animated films are an extremely hard sell these days, but the built in fan base here might be just enough.

Opening Weekend: 31 million

Total Gross: 96 million

Likelihood of Seeing It: 15%

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (Part Two)

My Thoughts: Well, here is is, ladies and gentlemen. After nearly a full decade, we are finally arriving at the culmination of the incomparable box office juggernaut that is the Harry Potter franchise. I’m incredibly excited for this one, but the feeling is a little bittersweet at the same time. I, like many others my age, have literally grown up with these books and movies. I can only hope that it delivers a satisfying conclusion.

My Predictions: Deathly Hallows Part One opened to 125 million, but Part Two has a number of factors working in its favor that should allow it to soar past that mark. One, it’s being released during the summer, when less people have to worry about school the next day. Two, it’s in 3-D and Harry Potter fans are frenzied and crazy enough to not have much backlash against that. Third, and most importantly, it’s the very last Harry Potter movie… ever. I’m going to go out on a huge limb and say this takes the record for biggest opening weekend ever. Even if it doesn’t get that, it should easily set records for biggest opening day and biggest midnight gross.

Opening Weekend: 165 million

Total Gross: 370 million

Likelihood of Seeing It: 100%

July 22

Captain America: The First Avenger

My Thoughts: It’s a shame the monopoly Transformers has over Independence Day, because there would be no better time to release a movie like this. Well, Memorial Day might’ve worked too. Regardless, I’m pretty excited. There’s still not a more socially acceptable enemy than Nazis, as we Americans still clearly love seeing them die. And then you garb a perfect human specimen in the colors of this country and you have a veritable maelstrom of patriotism.

My Predictions: I think Captain America is going to find itself somewhere between the lesser known superheroes and the more well known ones. It’ll surpass the likes of Thor, but it won’t get up to Iron Man heights. It’s a shame Bin Laden wasn’t captured say a week before this came out; I literally think the patriotism would drive the opening up by about ten million. On a side note, I think the celebrations and riots celebrating a man’s death, as evil as he was, are deplorable. Whoops, how did that political statement get in there?

Opening Weekend: 80 million

Total Gross: 250 million

Likelihood of Seeing It: 100%

Friends with Benefits

My Thoughts/Predictions: Wait a minute, isn’t this literally the third time this exact same movie has come out in the span of like one year? Apparently Hollywood is on a “friends with benefits” kick, which has already become so tired that they can’t even come up with a better title. The prospect of seeing Mila Kunis in varying stages of undress is always nice, but not enough to get me to see it.

Opening Weekend: 20 million

Total Gross: 58 million

Likelihood of Seeing It: 5%

July 29

Crazy, Stupid, Love

My Thoughts/Predictions: Steve Carell in a bit of a slice-of-life movie. It’s got a pretty solid cast, but these days Carell can pull people in by himself. It’ll be interesting to see where his post The Office days take him. Anyway, I’m kinda unsure, so I’ll just throw some numbers out there.

Opening Weekend: 17 million

Total Gross: 50 million

Likelihood of Seeing It: 25%

The Smurfs (in 3-D)

My Thoughts/Predictions: Instead of offering an even slightly legitimate discussion of this movie, I invite you to watch this funny clip from the film Donnie Darko. It’s somewhat relevant, I guess. Allow me to just throw out some numbers.

Opening Weekend: 35 million

Total Gross: 120 million

Likelihood of Seeing It: 0%

Cowboys and Aliens

My Thoughts: Daniel Craig. Harrison Ford. John Favreau. Cowboys. Aliens. Olivia Wilde. NAKED. Tell me, what is there about this movie that is not awesome. The teaser trailer really set the tone nicely and as soon as I saw that the title of the movie was the self-aware “Cowboys and Aliens,” I knew I wanted to see it. Yeah, it looks utterly ridiculous. But I greatly enjoy movies that know and relish their own absurdities. Cowboys and Aliens strikes me as that kind of picture.

My Predictions: Well, there are certainly a lot of things to pull in people, as I noted above, but then again, maybe the ridiculousness of the premise and title will turn some people away. Who knows? Anyway, this will have to contend with the second weekend of Captain America and that’s a bit of an issue. I think it will do some decent numbers, though.

Opening Weekend: 32 million

Total Gross: 91 million

Likelihood of Seeing It: 70%

August 5

The Change Up

My Thoughts/Predictions: Olivia Wilde has been and will to continue to be in approximately half of all movies that have or will come out since about midway through 2010. Anyway, this is some thing about Ryan Reynolds and Jason Bateman switching bodies or something. Wilde and Reynolds do make for an incredibly sexy movie. But I don’t expect much from this.

Opening Weekend: 16 million

Total Gross: 46 million

Likelihood of Seeing It: 5%

Rise of the Planet of the Apes

My Thoughts: I suppose it’s right about time that Fox decided to revisit this franchise. It’s been long enough since the Tim Burton version that the public has mostly forgotten about it. And James Franco, his awful hosting at the Oscars aside, is pretty hot right now. I do like the whole idea of this movies, but they hit their peak at the end of the first one decades ago. You just can’t beat that scene. Charlton Heston killed it.

My Predictions: Hmmm, yeah, my gut is telling me this just isn’t going to do well. Unless it’s actually a good movie, which is doubtful, I doubt the public is going to embrace it. I really think the time for this franchise has just passed. But rebooting it and taking it back to the beginning was probably the smartest thing to do. I just doubt that it will pay off.

Opening Weekend: 24 million

Total Gross: 71 million

Likelihood of Seeing It: 23.732%

August 12

30 Minutes or Less Fewer

My Thoughts/Predictions: The grammar Nazi in me couldn’t resist correcting the title. But here’s a Wikipedia summary: “After hiring an assassin to murder his father for his insurance money, meaty antagonist Dwayne and moronic partner in crime Travis kidnap a pizza delivery driver and force him to rob a bank with a bomb vest attached to his chest with a 9-hour timer in order to pay for the job to be done.” It’s got Jesse Eisenberg and Danny McBride. Could be good.

Opening Weekend: 14

Total Gross: 46 million

Likelihood of Seeing It: 15%

Glee Live! 3D!

My Thoughts/Predictions: I hate Glee. I hate concert movies. I hate 3D. This movie has almost given me too many reasons to hate it. Putting biases aside, I think it should do okay. It probably won’t reach Hannah Montana heights, but the show does get good ratings. But why pay for this when you’ve got for free at home?

Opening Weekend: 17 million

Total Gross: 38 million

Likelihood of Seeing It: -25%

The Help

My Thoughts/Predictions: “Aibileen Clark (Viola Davis) is a middle-aged African-American maid who has spent her life raising white children and has recently lost her only son; Minny Jackson (Octavia Spencer) is an African-American maid who has often talked back to her employers, leading to being fired multiple times and causing her to have difficulty finding work; Eugenia “Skeeter” Phelan (Emma Stone) is a young white woman who has recently moved back home after graduating from college to find that her beloved childhood maid has mysteriously disappeared. These three stories intertwine to explain how life in Jackson, Mississippi revolves around “the help”; yet despite the intimate quarters in which whites and blacks live, there is always a certain distance between them because of racial lines.” Let’s toss out some numbers.

Opening Weekend: 12 million

Total Gross: 47 million

Likelihood of Seeing It: 5%

Final Destination 5

My Thoughts/Predictions: Well, I got nothing to say about this one. I just do not care.

Opening Weekend: 14 million

Total Gross: 29 million

Likelihood of Seeing It: 1%

August 19

Fright Night

My Thoughts/Predictions: Hollywood continues its quest to recycle every single movie ever from the ’80s. God, I’m shocked they haven’t remade The Breakfast Club yet. But that movie just wouldn’t work today. It embodies the ’80s too well to possibly work in any other time period. Um, wait, what was I talking about? Uh, right, Colin Farrel is a vampire and Kyle Reese from Terminator Salvation tries to warn his mom about Farrel. Or something.

Opening Weekend: 12 million

Total Gross: 35 million

Likelihood of Seeing It: 5%

Spy Kids 4: All the Time in the World

My Thoughts/Predictions: Uh, yeah. Have no interest in this whatsoever and I kind of doubt if anyone else does either. But, I suppose, there are always little kids in the world and there always stupid people too. This will probably turn a profit.

Opening Weekend: 22 million

Total Gross: 75 million

Likelihood of Seeing It: 0%

Conan the Barbarian

My Thoughts/Predictions: I question the ability of a film like this to really work well without Ahnuld, but if it brings enough hardcore action and enough of a ripped, shirtless guy, it can bring in the guys and the ladies. Not in droves, but in decent numbers.

Opening Weekend: 17 million

Total Gross: 43 million

Likelihood of Seeing It: 25%

August 26

Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark

My Thoughts/Predictions: This flick has a nice creepy trailer that causes one of my friends to jump every single time we see it. And I love me some Guillermo Del Toro. Interesting to see him try his hand at horror, but as a result, this one of few horror movies I actually want to see. I think it could be pretty good. A hell of a lot better than Fright Night, anyway.

Opening Weekend: 17 million

Total Gross: 52 million

Likelihood of Seeing It: 25%

Apollo 18

My Thoughts/Predictions: Personally, I loved the trailer for this movie. It looks very creepy, claustrophobic, realistic, mysterious and intriguing. I love the whole handheld camera thing for movies, as it really goes a long way toward enhancing the realism. And it gives an actual excuse for the use of shaky cam during action sequences. Looking at you, Bourne movies. You’re still awesome, though. Anyway, I want to see this one do well, but we’ll have to see.

Opening Weekend: 13 million

Total Gross: 50 million

Likelihood of Seeing It: 70%

Until we meet again, friends.

I always liked Avril Lavigne. I just never openly admitted it. With her reemergence back into the music world with her latest album “Goodbye Lullaby” I really started listening to her again. I first admitted it a while back (about a few months ago) when I let my friend Jeremy drive my car and listen to his IPod as he drove. The only stipulation was that I got to pick the songs. So I went to shuffle and stopped on an Avril song. Then I stopped on another and another until we listened to about four or five Avril songs. Eventually he turned to me and said, “Are you in an Avril mood or something?” I replied, “No, I just…like her.”

From there it kicked off and I started listening to the first two albums. I’ve been on an Avril kick for about a month now. She’s awesome and I honestly forgot how awesome she was. If you get past Avril turning “everything” into a four-syllable word  as well as saying “yeah!” multiple times in all of her songs, then she’s awesome.

My favorite album is “Under My Skin” followed by “Let Go.” I don’t like “The Best Damn Thing” that much. I think she sold out and changed who she was at that point. I’ve also listened to some of “Goodbye Lullaby” and really not that impressed.

Entertaining Songs

Before getting to the top 10 I’d like to discuss a few catchy and entertaining songs by Avril.

What the Hell (Goodbye Lullaby)

This song off Avril’s newest album that is terrible but it’s so entertaining and catchy. It’s a song that gets stuck in your head but it’s a fun song. She’s also hot (This will be a recurring sentence throughout this post) which brings me to my next song.

Hot (The Best Damn Thing)

Yes, Avril looks extremely hot in this video but I find the song itself entertaining as well. I don’t why I like it. It’s not lyrically sound. I just like how it sounds. I hope my girlfriend is that hot, which brings me to the next song.

Girlfriend (The Best Damn Thing)

In case you didn’t realize by 2007 when “The Best Damn Thing” came out Avril grew up. She became really hot. She was hot after the release of “Under My Skin” as well (I refuse to comment on her physical appearance after she released “Let Go” because she was 17 at  the time and even though I was 12 when it came out at the age of 21 I can no longer comment). Anyway, I tried to hate this but I couldn’t. It’s way to catchy. I think I knew every word after one listen. How does it feel to have the ability to have that talent? Well that question leads me into the first song of the top 10 countdown.

TOP 10

10. How Does It Feel? (Under My Skin)

I wouldn’t like this song much if it didn’t have the middle part where she sings, “Would you comfort me? Would you cry with me?” and then the part that follows is also great. I find it powerful and if you ever catch driving and singing it in the car it’s going to be pretty embarrassing for me. However, it will be downright hilarious for you. You may even freak out, which leads me to the ninth song in the countdown.

9. Freak Out (Under My Skin)

I really like how this song starts. I usually try to turn the volume up all the way in my Subaru Forester in the beginning of it but as most of my friends know that doesn’t work very well. I really need a new sound system. Anyway, I like the idea of this song. Lyrics such as “I’m gonna live my life” and “Just let me live my life” are just cool. That’s how I would like to look at life. I just want to live it in my world, which brings me to the eighth song in the countdown.

8. My World (Let Go)

This song is so happy. I really like the guitar in it. I mean she talks about braiding her hair during the song and it’s not very manly for a guy like me to listen to but it’s happy. Don’t tell me anything different, which leads me to my seventh song in the countdown.

7. Don’t Tell Me (Under My Skin)

This song is typical Avril. At this point, she was much more of a rebel and a badass. She doesn’t need a guy that’s going to walk all over her and she’s not going to take it. She’d rather be alone if that’s how it’s going to be and that’s a powerful will to have. “Don’t try to tell me what to do. Don’t try to tell me what to say. You’re better off that way.” So much for her happy ending right…which brings me to my sixth song on the countdown.

6. My Happy Ending (Under My Skin)

Avril is a very real person. I know because we talk all the time. This point is proven when she got into a fight with Lindsay Lohan. She told Lohan that she’s not real and she doesn’t like fake people. That’s what I like about this song. The guy wasn’t real and she fell for it. Frankly, she’s a little pissed about that. Luckily, she didn’t fall to pieces over it, which brings me to my fifth song in the countdown.

5. Fall to Pieces (Under My Skin)

This song is very simple. It has a simple meaning. Avril is simply saying that she’s in love. The music goes along very well and it’s a catchy song. I’ve got to be honest I have nothing to say about this song. I just know it’s my fifth favorite. I think I’m losing grip on what I’m do at the moment, which bring me to the fourth song in the countdown.

4. Losing Grip (Let Go)

I’ve had this song stuck in my head for days. Just ask my sister. She was wondering why she was singing “Losing Grip” in New York. That’s ok because it’s a great song. I love when Avril’s pissed in a song and the music reflects that. Avril leads the music throughout the song. It seems as if her emotions actually push the music to match her emotion, which is pretty cool. I wonder if a sk8er boi caused her to lose her grip, which leads me to the top three.

3. Sk8er Boi (Let Go)

Personally, I think this is the song that most people associate with Avril. I think if somebody walked up to you and said name an Avril song, they would say “Sk8er Boi.” The thing that separates this song from many others out there is that it tells a story. Every chorus is different. At first, a girl dumps the sk8er boi. Then the sk8er becomes a superstar. Then he gets another girlfriend and the first is left wondering what could have been. Sorry girl but you missed out. Instead of having the sk8er boi, nobody’s home, which brings me to the number two song in the countdown.

2. Nobody’s Home (Under My Skin)

I love this song. It’s Avril’s best video and arguably her most well put together song. There are no flaws. The song builds to a big finish, which is one of my favorite musical techniques. It’s also a powerful song. It grabs you emotionally and you don’t even know who this girl is. There’s never a name mentioned yet somehow you’re attached to this pronoun. It’s impressive that Avril was able to do that. If you’re referring to yourself, Avril, don’t worry. I’m with you.

1. I’m With You (Let Go)

This is my favorite simply because it’s my song. It ranks up there with “Only One” by Yellowcard in song that I would sing to my girlfriend (Well, maybe play on an IPod. Me singing would probably scare her away.). It’s a very powerful song that once again builds to the end for a big finish. That’s another me in the Subaru Forester moment that you just have to see when Avril’s belting out, “I’m with you!!” I pulled up alongside my friend Jason in the Viewmont Diner parking lot and he caught a glimpse of it. I got out of the car and said, “Sorry, I really like that song.” He simply replied, “I can see that.” As corny as this may sound, I don’t have a girlfriend but I know there’s a girl out there for me. I don’t know who she is but I’m, I’m with her. That’s why it slightly nudged “Nobody’s Home” for the top spot.

Finally I’ve Finished!

If you’ve read this far, I hope you enjoyed this post that was complete with dumb jokes and horrible analysis of songs. If you didn’t get it, I tried to add the title of the next song in the countdown to the last line of the song analysis of the song before. That’s why I have some awful last sentences. Anyway, that’s it.

See ya.